From Reaction to Reflection: Stepping Off the Ladder of Inference

Ever left a meeting realizing you barely listened because you were too busy mentally crafting your closing argument? Or caught yourself defending a position before the other person even finished their sentence?

Welcome to the Ladder of Inference. Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

Reaction Is Automatic; Reflection Is a Choice

Our brains are amazing. Also, a little over-confident.

They take in partial data, scan the memory banks for something similar, slap on some meaning, draw a conclusion, and deliver a fully formed opinion before you’ve even finished your coffee. Sometimes this is helpful - especially when crossing the street. But in leadership? This autopilot mode can steer you straight into a wall.

Because while you’re busy reacting, you might be missing what actually matters:

• What’s being said

• What’s not being said

• What people are feeling, but you don’t yet have words for

That’s where reflection comes in. And no, reflection doesn’t mean giving up your expertise and nodding sagely while everyone talks in circles. It means having the presence of mind to say:

“Here’s how I’m seeing it. What do you see?”

That small shift from certainty to curiosity creates space. Space for truth. For perspective. For actual leadership.

Don’t Abdicate Your Expertise, Take it Off the Throne

You can keep your beliefs. You’ve earned them. Just… let them sit at the table, not rule from it.

Instead of reacting to a story a client or team member is telling you, try pausing to ask:

• “Is that true… or just the first draft?”

• “Could something else also be true?”

• “Are we treating an interpretation like a fact?”

This isn’t about gaslighting anyone. It’s about recognizing that situations aren’t binary, people are layered, and sometimes, just sometimes, we’re contributing to the dynamic we’re frustrated by.

Inquiry Is the Way Down the Ladder

When you feel yourself climbing, here’s how to gently step off the rungs:

• Ask yourself: What data am I ignoring? What am I assuming?

• Notice the sequence: Data - Interpretation - Conclusion - Action

• Get curious: What might I be missing? How could someone else reasonably see this differently?

The goal isn’t to discard your perspective. It’s to hold it with a little humility. A little space. Enough room for someone else to walk in and share what they see.

That’s not a weakness. That’s wisdom.

Try This in Your Next 1:1

Say: “Here’s how I’m seeing it, but I’d love to hear what I might be missing.”

Yes, it might feel risky - especially in high-stakes rooms. But let’s be real: unchallenged knowing is what actually creates risk. It calcifies teams. Narrows options. Fuels confirmation bias. And leaves leaders feeling more isolated than informed.

Chris Argyris knew what modern leadership still forgets: Learning is relational.

And the leader who chooses inquiry? They’re not backing down. They’re inviting others to rise.

That changes the room. That changes everything.