Why Your Team Needs a Fence (Not a Leash)
During a recent coaching session, my client kept glancing at his inbox like it might spontaneously combust. I paused and asked, “Is there something urgent you need to take care of?” He let out a sigh so deep it could have powered a wind turbine. “My team emails me about everything, even the small stuff. I can’t get anything done.”
This is more common than you’d think: Well-meaning leaders who pride themselves on being supportive, accidentally create a full-brown advice dependency loop. The result? A team that’s constantly asking for permission instead of making decisions. It’s not collaboration, it’s adult babysitting.
Setting boundaries as a leader doesn’t mean throwing up a wall. It means building a fence - clear, visible structure that says, “Here’s how far you can go. And yes, please go.”
Let me explain with one of my favorite research nuggets: In a 2006 study, pre-schoolers were observed on a playground - once without a fence, and once with one. Without the fence, the kids stayed close to their teacher. But with a fence? Freedom. They explored every corner, ran wild (safely), and had a blast.
Your team is no different. When you provide boundaries, not micro-management, they feel safe to take initiative. They play full out, instead of hovering around you for approval on every minor decision.
Here’s how to install your metaphorical fence without looking like a control freak:
Ask Instead of Answer
Encourage your team to think before you swoop in with the solution.
“That’s a great question, what are your first thoughts?”
“Can you walk me through how you’re thinking about it?”
“What outcome are you hoping for here?”
“What would make the biggest difference for the customer?”
Give them space to reason things out. You’re building thinkers, not order-takers.
Build Agreements That Stick
Establish a decision-making framework with three simple questions:
What decision needs to be made?
Who should make it?
When should it be made?
Clarify the Cadence
Set clear follow-ups before things go off the rails. Try these:
Daily check-ins for fast-moving projects (think: espresso shots of clarity)
Weekly syncs to avoid slow-drip confusion
Bi-weekly support huddles for coaching + recalibration
Monthly wins + milestone reviews (yes, snacks encouraged)
When you find your team keeps crowding you for every decision, don’t tighten the leash, build a fence. Boundaries = freedom. When people know where the edges are, they can move with confidence instead of tiptoeing around you.
And bonus: you might actually get to finish an email in peace.