“You’re Right,” Isn’t a Conversation, it’s a Booby Trap
Think back to the last time a project went sideways because people weren’t really talking? What did it cost you - time, credibility, budget?
Conversation is the power tool of leadership. Done well, it forges shared understanding, uncovers blind spots, sparks ideas, and builds momentum. Done poorly, it produces polite nods, rogue decisions, and expensive re‑work.
The problem? Most leaders treat every discussion like small talk at the water cooler. A professional conversation is different: it’s intentional, it has an agenda formed around the audience, and it uses questions to surface concerns before they derail the plan.
A newly minted C-suite client was ecstatic when her CEO responded to her proposed fixes with “You’re right.”. She heard green light - go. Three weeks later another executive complained, the CEO reversed course, and my client showed up to coaching fuming.
What was really happening?
The CEO had a single conversational move - tell everyone “You’re right.”
My client mistook the phrase for a decision, skipped stakeholder alignment, and became the fall guy when priorities collided.
Why “Your right” is so dangerous:
It feels like ‘commitment’ but isn’t
Short circuits deeper dialogue (“if I’m right, why keep talking?”)
Masks conflicting viewpoints until they erupt in the hallway
Leader, Design the Conversation
Before you launch change:
Map the voices. Who’s affected, who funds it, who can veto it?
Invite them early. One cross‑functional meeting beats ten damage‑control calls.
Frame the agenda. Facts, risks, upside - then open the floor.
Listen past “You’re right.” Probe for what could torpedo the idea.
Seal the deal. Document decisions, owners, and next steps.
Yes, it takes longer up front - but it eliminates the “single‑point‑of‑failure” of getting a shaky thumbs‑up from one over‑agreeable exec.
Quick Self‑Check:
Do you regularly hear “You’re right” without concrete follow‑through?
Have you confused agreement with alignment?
When was the last time you invited dissent on purpose?
If your answers make you squirm, good. That’s your cue to lead the conversation, not just have one. Bring the right people into the (virtual) room, surface the hard truths, and leave with action everyone will back when the heat is on.
Because in leadership, real progress rarely starts with “You’re right.” It starts with “Let’s talk.”