During a coaching session one of my clients reflected, “I’m not exhausted at the end of the day anymore.” Do you know how she got more energy? She started to tell the truth. Before coaching with me, my client was always exhausted so I asked her, “What don’t you want me to know about you? What area(s) of your life are you holding yourself out to be perfect?” After a long pause she shared that she thought she SHOULD go to yoga on Saturday morning because she didn’t want people to think that she was lazy if she slept in. As a result, she would lie to her colleagues by telling them she exercised on the weekend. When we do something that we think we SHOULD DO but behind closed doors we do something different we are not being authentic.
Being authentic is when your behavior is consistent with who you hold yourself out to be for others and who you hold yourself out to be for yourself. So many people are exhausted from bouncing back and forth in this dichotomy of labels based on what we think we SHOULD do versus telling the truth of what we really do. We think we SHOULD eat healthy for every meal but we eat junk food at the end of the night. We think we SHOULD say, “Yes” to every friend who asks us to go out to dinner but we really want to relax on the couch with a good book. My client learned that people pleasing and trying to be perfect came with a lot of stress. Once she started to be authentic about the times she wanted to lie just to make herself look good, she discovered freedom and an endless supply of energy.
Take the Action Challenge to become more authentic:
Find someone or something you trust (I suggest a coach, a journal, or a pet)
Establish expectations by explaining that you have not been authentic, which means that you haven’t been telling the truth about your thoughts, feelings, or actions. Ask the person to just listen with an open-mind, refraining from judgement or from giving advice.
Tell the truth by finishing the phrase, “What I don’t want you to know about me is…”
After you share the area(s) where you have not been authentic, say, “Thank you for listening,” and the response from the listener could be, “Thank you for sharing.”
Pretty cool, right? Come on, don't wait any longer to get in on the action of becoming more authentic. Once you’ve had a chance to tell the truth in area(s) of your life that you have not been authentic, I urge you to join us in the comments because taking the Action Challenge in this post will add so much freedom and energy to your life.
I’d love to know the thing in your business or your life that you wouldn’t want people to know about you. Leave a comment here and let me know.
P.S. If you have friends, clients or colleagues who care way too much about what people think, forward this blog post. Together you can create more freedom and energy in your life. Note: This blog is just a suggestion and not a replacement for coaching.