Dance: What Can We Create Together?


Recently, a mother contacted me about her son who had graduated from high school and still appeared to be unmotivated to get a job. I was thrilled at the opportunity to create the conditions for this young man to discover life as a dance, rather than an outcome. During our coaching session, I asked him to share the thoughts that were in his head. We began to dance as he described pressure from his friends to be social, expectations from his parents to be successful, and the overwhelming anxiety of how to manage this next phase of his life.

Dancing is an AUTHENTIC interaction with a coach where we discover the possibility for transformation. Our dance happens out here between us and through the inquiry of how the world is occurring for you. There is a certain tempo and rhythm to the dance as we interact in a way that puts you into position to discover a different perspective. Slowly your language shifts from describing what’s happening internally to actively being in the inquiry for new possibilities. My job as a coach is to make sure you don’t go through the inquiry alone, but to be in the dance with you, guiding you through it, and spinning you a certain way so you can see what’s up ahead. Sure, you may still feel anxious about the unknown, but it’s not as stressful because we are going through it together. This dance can be messy or passionate but each time we dance, we discover more about life, how we relate to others, and our truth. Don’t dance through life alone, it’s much more fun with a partner!

Take the Action Challenge to be in a dance where everything is possible:

  1. Find a dancing partner you can trust: a coach, a friend, a therapist

  2. Create an inquiry into the way you describe your CONTEXT by asking:

    • What do I want my life to look like now, with these conditions?

    • What would change if I decided to master a new job?

    • What if I don’t have to figure out the rest of my life, I just have to pay attention to what energizes me today?

  3. Spin around so you can discover a different perspective and create new BEHAVIORS.

  4. Commit to staying in the dance by giving yourself permission to explore the unknown, make mistakes, and experiment with possibilities.

It’s never too late to discover your passion! Whether you’re seeking your first job, changing careers, or choosing something to do after retirement, find a dance partner who asks, “What can we create together?”